Divorce mediation is a healthier alternative to the traditional adversarial divorce process. 

 Emotionally:  

The adversarial process, with two attorneys each focused on being a zealous advocate for their client, creates emotional stress in many ways.  One big one is the animosity and ill will it creates.  Another is the duration.  This process can drag out for over a year, piling stress and uncertainty with each passing month.  There is also the cost.  Financial trouble and uncertainty is a known cause of stress.  The dragged out adversarial process is expensive – two lawyers running the clock – and because you don’t know how long it will take, you do not know what the ultimate cost will be.  There is also the uncertainty for all those months of not knowing what your financial picture will look like when its over – will you have enough support, will you have to give up this or that account.

By cutting down the animosity, duration, cost, and uncertainty, mediation can be considerably less emotionally draining and stressful.

Time and Money:

In Mediation you pay one mediator instead of two attorneys.  In addition, because everyone is in the same room, the process is shorter and more efficient.  You avoid the wife-asks-lawyer-who-calls-husband’s-lawyer-who-asks-husband-who-responds-to-lawyer-who-responds-to-wife’s-lawyer-who-tells-wife.  In the transparent and cooperative atmosphere of mediation all the parties speak directly to each other. 

You are also not constrained by the court’s schedule.  It can be weeks or worse before you can get in front of a judge to sort out pressing issues, such as support.  In Mediation you are not waiting fro your judge to have an opening in her motions session.

The cost of a mediated divorce is, on average, 40-60% lower than the cost of a traditional divorce. 

Healthier for Kids:

In an adversarial divorce, parents put their children’s futures in the hands of a judge and their lawyers.  From when you can visit your kids, to how much money is required to support them – its all out of your hands.  In mediation, you can remain in charge.  You know your children’s interests and needs better than anyone and will have to continue to parent those children together into adulthood. 

 In mediation, parents can work together to build a cooperative parenting and support plan.

 Private and Confidential:

All court filings are public.  Moreover, when you go before a judge, you discuss your most private family affairs in front of every other person sitting in that courtroom. 

I have sat with clients in the courthouse and seen them run into neighbors, colleagues and friends, and seen their embarrassed faces as they struggle to answer the questions “why are you here?”

When you mediate you resolve your family issues privately.  You avoid parading your family’s finances and lives before the world.

 Positive Experience that can be an Opportunity for Growth:

 Unlike the adversarial process, mediation fosters responsible problem solving.  It will teach you many of the skills you will need in the future as you continue to have to work together even though your have ended your marriage.  Mediation can help strengthen each partner’s best attributes as they cooperate to build a sustainable plan for their family, rather than fight to tear down the marriage. 

 Less Need to Return to Litigation:

Because of the cooperative nature of mediated settlements, they are often more comprehensive and easier to comply with than litigate settlements.  This means fewer occurrences of contempt  and a lower rte of expensive relitigation.

If you’re considering divorce, consider mediation.  Call for a free confidential consultation or to learn more.